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Not every bachelorette party involves men in thongs, shot glasses worn around the neck, and rhinestone-emblazoned gear reading Team Bride. Although not every bride’s dream party is a demure tea party either.

The best fetes fall somewhere in between a carefully choreographed mix of wholesome catch-up time and debaucherous “what happens at the bachelorette stays at the bachelorette” action.

In charge of planning the main event? Here’s how to get it just right.


Once you settle on a location for the party, start the planning process by flat out asking the bride what is on her must-have and off-limits list.

You may be surprised to find that your wildest friend has no interest in bar hopping, or your conservative friend wants to wear a tiara and sash . . . the entire time. You may then be tempted to ask all the other guests for ideas or preferences. Consider this carefully.

While sharing the planning load with one other trusted friend or bridesmaid can be helpful, planning by committee can be a total nightmare.

Unless you’re going to schedule some seriously wild activities that might freak out one of the attendees (skydiving, group tattoos), assume that the bride’s friends will go along with anything you can cook up. At least, good friends should be good sports.


It’s considerate to reach out to the group with a cost estimate for the festivities and suggest that people contact you individually with any concerns.

Within reason, align your plans to fit the smallest budget. From here, one of the easiest ways to handle finances is to ask each of the guests to pay the organizer up front for all bridesmaid activities, hotel, meals, transportation, activities, any fun decorations, etc.

This avoids the awkward “Hey, you haven’t paid me yet” emails post-event, Venmo algebra to sort out Uber costs, and the inevitable frustration when one person doesn’t want to split the dinner bill evenly.

If there is any money left over post-event, return it to the guests. If you do decide to go this route, just be clear about what is and isn’t being covered.


With the big stuff out of the way, it’s time to start filling in the details.

Sketch out the basics like the hotel and meals, add any site-specific activities (the Britney concert in Vegas, a few hours at the mini golf place near your Airbnb), and then consider some of these do-anywhere ideas:

  • SPA

This is all about relaxation—perfect for the overworked bride or for some morning-after-a-night-out recuperation. Of course, you can go out for a full spa day, but you can also bring the pampering to you with an in-home service like Glam squad.

Schedule mani-pedis while you eat brunch before a day on the beach, or a blowout and makeup while you pregame for a night on the town.

If you’re being budget conscious, pick up some masks and nail polish and do a DIY spa night like you used to in junior high.


Weave in games throughout the party to keep the momentum going, some a bit bawdy, some sweet and tame. Ask the groom a series of questions (Who said “I love you” first? What is the bride’s best feature? Who is the worst driver?) and have the bride try to guess his answers, great during a low-key breakfast or while hanging out between events; hand each guest a few cards with dares for the bride, everything from hugging a stranger to singing an impromptu love song about their fiancé and let them deploy them at any time; and a game of Pin the Mr. on the Man after a few cocktails is pretty hilarious.

For a night in, break out the board games. Cards Against Humanity is a perennial favourite for good reason, mix it up and buy an expansion pack or two to fit with the bride’s interests (the ’90s Nostalgia Pack is pretty awesome).

Next, try Telestrations After Dark, a riff on Pictionary that can be seriously raunchy and laugh-until-you-cry funny.


Yes, just about everything at the bachelorette is a photo op. But think about working in some clever decorations, gifts, props, or activities that are bound to yield a mother lode of Insta opportunities.

Start with decorations (more on this below) that will either inspire naughty hilarity or serve as great backdrops for group shots. Gift the gals with matching gear or costumes or have one of the dares involve the bride dressing up with some cheesy props. Or consider a craft like creating flower crowns with real or faux blooms to wear for the weekend.

You also could do a scavenger hunt around town where each item on the list must be included in a group selfie (think: the tiniest piece of lingerie you can find, a dog wearing clothes). Just be sure to set up a group photo share so everyone can enjoy the hilarity.


Wherever you chose to host the festivities, some decorations are in order. This is one area where going over the top is absolutely encouraged.

If you’re having a multi-day affair, consider starting night one with the bawdier decorations and scaling it back with more ladylike tea party decor the next.


Finally, it’s nice to send the ladies off with a token or two from the weekend.

Some of these items might be fun to hand out as the event progresses (adult footie pyjamas, anyone?) and some might just be nice parting gifts (a water bottle for the inevitable hangover).

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